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Forex Overview: On wisdom and trust

THERE are lots of people in the forex business who all claim to be the “messiah” that can bring enlightenment and save others from financial damnation.

Like most evangelists — whose acting savvy is as effective as a Glock pointed at your face so that soliciting for cash is a breeze all in the name of you know who (we don’t do blasphemy here) — these sweet-talking messiahs are everywhere: at Wall Street (the jungle where they roam), inside the Federal Reserve (one whole legion), at the World Bank and the IMF (a few battalions), private lending companies, telemarketing and call centers (they sell everything from toilet bowl cleaner to company stocks!), law offices (they know who to turn to when things get ugly), private sector firms, colleges and universities (where they are born), at the gym (not all dudes who stare at you while you work on those abs are gay – sometimes they are straight and wholesome forex traders!), and yes – beside you in the church (surprise!!!).

So, how do you know (all you newbies out there, listen!) if a forex trader is bulls*itting you or not? Very easy. If the dude says “I can make you rich in one week”, tell him to go to hell. But, if he says “I can, but it’s gonna take longer than that,” he might still be bulls*itting you but at least he’s honest. Go for honesty. You have better chances of making money with people who lie less.

Introducing: The Pip Maestro

There are suckers and opportunists. And then, there is this guy they call the “Pip Maestro”. Hmmm, “’maestro’ ey”, you might say. Yes, he is a maestro, but not the PhD kind, or something like that. Not even close. Not even at all. He’s too good and bright for any title a school can ever bestow its students. He is street-smart, you know what I mean?

His friends call him the “Maestro” simply because he can teach you things about foreign exchange in a way that you can easily digest but will have a tough time not having too much of. He’s like fresh legal weed that you’re anxious to try out and you can even bet your wife’s mom that it’s all safe, with no side effects and bad trips – only the reassuring comfort of being in good hands!

This fella can make you listen to him with passion and surrender. Think: Mena Suvari giving Kevin Spacey that kind of look in “American Beauty”, or Tony D’Amato (Al Pacino), speaking to his wards before a do-or-die game in “On Any Given Sunday”. That’s the kind of persuasion the Pip Maestro is gifted with.

The Pip Maestro is more than a mentor. You show him a problem he’ll come up with a solution. You give him a fresh bud he’ll roll you one big fat joint. You scratch his back, he’ll scratch yours. You talk, he listens. He’s a friend.

Personal details

The Pip Maestro is the kind of guy who loves to lie low. Yes, he goes to bars, drink his favorite beer but he’s usually in some dark corner, far from the crowd and, if ever you see him getting very intimate with the girls (his mouth almost touching their ear) – he’s actually whispering forex pips and the hottest stocks on NASDAQ. We know what you’re thinking. And you are right. Money is a hot issue and the Pip Maestro sure knows how to go about it.

Now, is the guy married? Does he have any kids? Does it even matter? One thing’s for sure. He loves to be with women and when he is, you already know what they always talk about. So, that pretty much gives you an idea of how much the Pip Maestro is passionate about sharing his expertise to anybody just to help them make money. What a guy.

Other details

People are curious: What does the Pip Maestro look like? Ah, interesting question. You see this dude is just like any ordinary guy — not too tall, not too white, not too big, not too good-looking, not too rich and, yes – why on Zeus’ name does he always get the hot girls? Heeeeey, sexy ley-deh! Opp, Opp, Oppa Gangnam Style! That answers your question. He’s that hot!

Things you can ask the Pip Maestro

The Pip Maestro, as mentioned above, is a mentor and a cool dude. That means he’s open to questions like “Can you help me pay my bills?”, “How do I attract hot girls?”, “What’s the best weed, err… stock to buy in the market today?”, and “Is it true that the Pip Maestro is the coolest and most intelligent person in the Milky Way?” Meanwhile, questions that pertain to politics and religion are better left to Mitt Romney and the 700 Club.[/expand]

Does everything that the Pip Maestro say is right?

They better be right. Otherwise, he will be a disgrace and King Jaffer Joffer, ruler of Zamunda, will “punish and confine him to the royal suite of Waldorf-Astoria.”

How do I get in touch with the maestro?

Contacting the Pip Maestro is very easy. Just check out www.fxpips.com and you’re good to go!

Is there anything the Pip Maestro refuses to talk about?

This guy can and will talk to you about anything under the sink. Just don’t ask stupid questions so you won’t get s*itty answers. For instance, the Pip Maestro knows that there are as many microscopic worms in your cheeks as there are in your butthole but he will refuse to engage in such a topic because it’s very pathetic. You can ask him about charts, percentages, margins, index, commodities, stocks and pips and you have a decent conversation.

Are there questions he refuses to answer?

Of course, there are. Questions like, “Is it true that you are a secret millionaire?” and “Why do people look up to the 100th floor of a building and then look down on the ground once they have rushed to reach the top?” make him mum. And, also, don’t ask him what else he whispers to those women in the bar. You know the answer (you silly). One more thing; better shut your mouth if the question is detrimental to the reputation of other forex traders. These dawgs are his brutha!

How can the Pip Maestro know all the answers? Who helps him with the answers?

How can he not? He’s the effin most intelligent homo sapien in the cosmos! He wrote the program for the Mars lander Curiousity; he drafted Ben Bernanke’s recent speech in New York; Wikipedia is lame without him; he once made it to the Forbes List (somewhere in the 998,000th); and, if rumors are true – he once saved the total collapse of Wall Street from massive insider-trading back in the 90s!

The Pip Maestro is the man for the masses and he has all kinds of connections, name it: global financial experts, currency traders, bankers, economists, professors, scientists, software developers, CEOs and yes – bouncers![/box]